Yum Bacon

Today I went home and I ate a pound of bacon.  You might be asking what at all this has to do with English class.  Well, they do not really share a common relation, except for the way I analyzed the bacon, incorporating AP English  into my life.  First I attempted how to figure out how to open the package, opening the plastic part proved a lot harder than I thought.  I then realized that I should just cut it open with a knife, clearly indirectly characterizing my keen wit and creative genius, or my simple brutality, of course.  Also, I think most can agree that bacon, serves as a man's food (just kidding but not really only sort of?) and therefore acts a synecdoche for manliness.  Therefore that indirectly characterizes my actions of cooking bacon as manly, thus making me more of a man.  Similarly, I cooked the bacon to perfection, even Rory agreed, which creates ethos for my outstanding abilities as a culinary force in the kitchen.  Also, as I was getting rid of the grease I burned myself, letting off a string of vulgar obscenities.  My mom asked me if I was ok.  All I could think of was, wow pathos (sympathy) and no I am in a lot of pain.  Later, as I headed back from the gym I realized that it had not proved the best idea to eat a pound of bacon and then immediately go workout.  This serves to indirectly characterize my rash judgment, which I found myself contemplating and regretting on my way home.  But, do I regret it? No, not at all.  My arteries might, but I feel fine now, and bacon tastes so good.  Too good to give up.