State of Mind

I found myself in a tight situation.  I was sweating, unsure of what to do.  Time was running out and the bomb threatened to blow up the entire building.  I woke up.  The clock read six-forty A.M.  Only a dream I thought.  Except it reflected last nights reading.  I took Chief Bromdens place.  I jumped into the shower trying to remember the dream before it slippled from the vastness of my half-concious state of mind.  Wierd, I thought.  But then again I remembered that I had read last nights reading right before bed, the freshness of it still in mind mind as I went off to sleep.  The end of the book rattled me a bit.  I did not quite expect for it to turn out the way that it did.  It had nothing to do with the fact that Billy died, or the Big Nurse, or even the party.  The dream must have reflected my unsettled thoughts on McMurphy's death.  I admit I resented Bromden for killing McMurphy but I understand the motive behind it.  He wanted to free McMurphy from the life of a vegetable and  thwart the nurses' final attempt in regaining her power.  Yes, that part made sense; but why then, did it still bother me?  It must have had to do with tthe way he thrashed around before he died, and the emptiness of everything after his life departed from his body.  It did not seem right to me that they could give him a labotomy for his behavioral problems.  The prisons take care of that.  But then again, he must have known what he was in for when he attempted to kill the Big Nurse.  Still, it felt unsettling.  However, I dismissed it largely pushing it to the back of my mind, surprsied that the end of the book affected me so much.  I turned of the water and got out of the shower, letting it linger in my mind for a little longer, until my complete state of conciousness took over my drowsy state of mind.