The Normal Abnormalties: What Happens When Two Worlds Collide

The scene.  Lane has retired from Algernon's service and now works for Rodney as a person servant.  This is his first day on the job. Lane knocks at the door.  Rodney answers.
Lane:  Why hello, you must be Rodney?  I'm Lane, your new manservant.
Rodney:  "I'm cocaine addict" (133).
Lane: Oh...(awkward silence) I'm very sorry to hear that sir.
Rodney:  Oh, no I mean it's really not a big deal.  I'm sorry, where are my manners?  I'm Rodney.  You can come in if you want.  So, you want anything to eat?
Lane:  No sir.  And aren't I supposed to be getting you the meals?
Rodney:  Nah just forget about it.  You play any ball?
Lane: "I have had very little experience of it myself up to the present" (1).
Rodney:  Listen Lane, enough idle chat, there's just something I've gotta say...(Rodney cues the Marvin Gaye)..."I'm gonna get real weird with it."
Lane:  I don't think this was in the job description sir.
Rodney:  Listen Lane, "that doesn't make me feel better about where I'm at" (132).
(Rodney begins to take his clothes off).
But you can't say I didn't warn you.  (The music begins to intensify, and Lane begins to sweat.  All of a sudden a knock is heard at the door).
Lane: I'll get that sir.
(Enter the Asian Fast Food Man)
Rodney (with just pants on): Oh, I forgot I ordered Chinese.
(Lane pays the bill)
Rodney: Lane help! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllpppppppppp!
Lane: Dear Lord! What is the matter?
Rodney: This happens every time, I can't get these poopy boxes of Chinese food open!!!!  I try every time! Every time! But I can't ever get it! "I wish dad was still here because he'd know just what to do" (237).
(Lane picks up a box and opens it with ease)
Rodney (still half naked):  Wow! That was a neat trick! Do it again!
(Lane proceeds to open the rest of the food)
So Lane, tell me about what you do in your free time.
Lane:  Well sir, usually I go out clubbing on the east side of town with some of the chaps around there.  We usually end up at a show or the bar.  On a normal night I usually have about "eight bottles and a pint" (1).
Rodney: Oh you don't say?  My brother Junior goes there a lot.  I bet he could out drink you though, I bet he beats you in flip cup.  He's always playing that here.  Usually he plays against himself, since I'm not allowed to drink.
Lane:  Oh, you don't say?  Where is this brother of yours?
Rodney:  Well the last I knew he was tripping on DXM, GHB, percocet, and a combination of some methamphetamines.  He's growing some weed in his room if you want some.  Personally, I don't touch the drugs.
Lane:  I thought you mentioned that you were a cocaine addict sir?
Rodney:  Who told you that?  Why are you trying to bring up such dark points in my past Lane? Huh Lane? You know I'm getting very angry.  Very, very angry.  And you don't want to see me when I'm angry. 
(Lane looks for various exit points)
(Rodney chuckles)
Oh I'm just kidding Lane.  That was really funny, your face got red!
Lane: ....
Rodney: Anyway, I'm kind of nervous, I actually haven't seen Junior since he left the house on Tuesday as high as a kite.  "I'm worried someone kidnapped him" (136).
(An alarm rings on the clock in the kitchen).
Rodney: Geeeezusss Lane! What time is it?
Lane: About half past eight sir!
Rodney: Bedtime!!!!!!! Whooooooo!!! Bed time, bed time!
(After Lane reads Rodney several Dr. Seuss stories, accompanied by a massage and several cookies, Rodney dozes off to sleep)
Lane decides not to serve Rodney and quietly leaves.  He then dials a number on his phone.
???: Hello Lane, where are you it's nearly 12!!!
Lane:  I'm sorry Junior your brother was quite a handful, I'll be at the bar shortly.
Junior:  Well hurry up! We've already finished up the Grey Goose and the Yak is going fast! (Chatter in the background).
Lane:  Be there in five.  You think Rodney will mind if we drive his Lambo?
Junior:  Hell nawww. But I like the Bentley better.
Lane: Alright, I'll take the Bentley, see you in five.
End scene.